Who is causing you to take things personally?

Mon, Dec 22, 2008

Limiting Belief:

That person is SO wrong! Nothing could be further from the truth, I’m not that way at all…

Playback Affirmation:

Even though part of me secretly agrees with the person who has offended me or I wouldn’t be taking it personally, I’m willing to see that this is an opportunity to examine what limiting belief I’ve held about myself and let that go…and I deeply and completely accept myself without judgment.

The interesting thing about “taking things personally” and your inner critic, is the dominant role your inner critic plays in causing you to react to someone’s words or actions. It’s important to have more moments where you are not taking things personally because let’s face it, taking things personally can set you back from creating the success you want for your life. The more time and energy you spend taking things personally, the less time and energy you are spending to create the life of your dreams.

So back to the question “Who causes you to take things personally?” The answer is, your Inner Critic does.

In the moment that you have taken what someone said to you personally, you might notice that it isn’t what that person said that upset you. When we ask the person who we suspect has a negative opinion about us the question, “What’s that supposed to mean?!” it’s what we think that person implied, or “meant” by their comment that upsets us. What the person meant by it isn’t what we’re really after. What we are after is the truth about ourselves. Even though we are defensive and busy ourselves with reasons why what that person said “about” us is not true, our fear is that the person may be right, and is telling us the truth about ourselves.

…Which means, that lurking underneath the defensiveness and need to “prove that person wrong” is the part of you who is agreeing with your Inner Critic who has sat up after hearing that person’s words and has begun to ramble on and on with negative messages as reasons why what that person said to you has meaning and value.

So, the battle may look as though it is between you and the person whose words you took personally. But the real battle is between you and your Inner Critic–who won’t let you forget about all the times in your past where you fell short, and will dig up evidence (in the form of memories) where “it makes sense” why that person said what they said.

So what’s the solution? Make peace with your past and who you are. The best way to do this is to neutralize the negative charge you’ve attached to your memories of the past–using tools such as the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Knock down one by one your limiting beliefs about yourself, and the things people (including your Inner Critic!) say to you will no longer hold so much power over how you view yourself and where your life is heading.

For a simple but powerful technique on how to overcome taking things personally, check out the Try It On Everything movie and tap your way into Emotional Freedom!